Numskull: THE CROW. I dare you to find a black-lipstick wearing, poetry-spewing, self-proclaimed "Goth" (that word, as used today, bears no resemblance to its original meaning) who can't come up with a dozen quotes from this movie.
Mighty Peking Man: That's easy. Just visit Brandon's gravesite. A friend of mine visited it once, and found a bunch of teen "goth" bitches surrounding his stone.
Numskull: People get too attached to their favorite celebrities. I find the whole "fan club" concept quite foolish.
Mighty Peking Man: Yeah, joining or running a "fan club" is low-budget. Although, Mickey Rourke would be an exception. Anyways.... Brandon Lee has so much in common with Micheal Wong. They can't act worth shit, but I love seeing them on-screen.
Numskull: BL is a better actor than MW, IMO.
Mighty Peking Man: What does IMO mean?
Numskull: In My Opinion and my opinion is the only one that countså
Mighty Peking Man: Nah, to me, they're about the same.
Numskull: Whatever. Anyway, there's nothing like the death of a celebrity to move a lot of merchandise. There's an official CROW just about everything.
Mighty Peking Man: Yeah, I got sick of all this CROW this, CROW that. And I just love how all the "goth" weirdo's thought the damn movie was catered for them.
Numskull: I had a college suitemate named Paul who used to be in the air force...he was really short and he acted nauseatingly macho. He thought he was the manliest man there was. But he had the CROW silver ring that said "true love is forever" or something like that. Friggin' wuss. I felt kinda bad for him when it got stolen, though.
Mighty Peking Man: Really? Well, I had a friend that dressed up as the CROW for Halloween. He's the same guy that got us private screening tickets (Even James O'Barr was there) and I remember that the film had so soundtrack yet. It was a strange experience.
Numskull: He dressed up as The Crow? The guy or the bird?
Mighty Peking Man: The guy. The bird would be much more cooler.
Numskull: I think the movie would be better off without the soundtrack it has. Rage Against The Machine...ugh.
Mighty Peking Man: Rage rocks man! I hate to say this and I know a lot of people will want to crucify my ass. I think they should of used that footage of Brandon getting shot.
Numskull: Hmmm...well I don't agree, but I don't want to crucify you either. I'm sure there would have been legal issues had they decided to do that. Actually, come to think of it, I do like the Violent Femmes song on the soundtrack ("Color Me Once")
Mighty Peking Man: What do you think about what happened to Brandon?
Numskull: I think it sucks. I don't believe in any Lee family curse, though. (dude, weren't you supposed to type something before I died of boredom?!? lol)
Mighty Peking Man: Yeah, I like that Violent Femmes song too. But the best song on there has to be that "Helmet" song.
Numskull: I don't remember what it sounds like. What scene is it in?
Mighty Peking Man: It's almost unnoticeable. I think it's when the pawn shop guy is talking about how his shop got burnt down.
Numskull: Can't place it...oh well. Have you read the original James O'Barr graphic novel? Not any of the subsequent stuff, just the one the film was based on.
Mighty Peking Man: Sure did. Wasn't exactly thrilled with it either. Thought the movie was better. The comic was just too plain. Needed something or some sort. Although he's a great artist, I don't care for his work (if that makes any sense).
Numskull: The biggest thing I remember disliking about it was that the bird could talk. Thank God they didn't decide to put a talking bird in the movie. But I wish they had kept the "I KNOW WHY JESUS WEPT, MOTHERFUCKER" bit in there.
Mighty Peking Man: I don't even remember that line to tell you the truth. All I know is, this movie is over-hyped. I think everyone agrees it became a cult-hit just because Brandon was killed.
Numskull: That was certainly a factor. Maybe the biggest factor. But I still think it would have enjoyed a fair amount of success had he survived.
Mighty Peking Man: I don't know. I still believe that Brandon would be making straight-to-video shit with Garey Busey, along with 3 or 4 Rapid Fire sequels. But, who knows.
Numskull: I hope he wouldn't have agreed to do a CROW sequel.
Mighty Peking Man: Well, it depends. I'm sure he'd rather do a sequel to that than LASER MISSION PART II with Margot Kidder. I just don't think he would of made it. The fact is, he's Chinese. There are many Chinese that are great actors here in Hollywood and they can't get any work unless someone makes a film about Chinatown gangsters. And Brandon wasn't a great actor. He wasn't even a great martial artists - although nowadays, Keanu Reeves can look like Jet Li.
Numskull: When the sequel was first announced, my friend Jeremy (from my Millionaire's Express review) said there would be riots in Northampton when it came out. Northampton, Mass. is a town just a few miles from where I live and it's Crow Central. It's the home of Kitchen Sink Press, the people who published the comics and churn out all the merchandise. It's a very artsy-fartsy kinda place. Gay people everywhere. Also the home of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The film MALICE (with Alec Baldwin, I think) was shot there. What a cultural den of iniquity, right in my fuckin' backyard.
Mighty Peking Man: So was there Riots?
Numskull: Nope. I'm sure there were a lot of people there who were pissed off about the sequel, but as far as smashing cars and looting department stores, no.
Mighty Peking Man: You know, I don't mind sequels. Because a "Crow" sequel does make sense - i mean, in that world, a Crow can bring back a different guy every year. But they should make it different. Hell, I even liked the original idea of a sequel that featured a rapper (2pac type guy) who was gunned down and came back to life. Sounds like shit, but at least it's different. But at this point, they fucked up. They might as well call the next Crow film "Bloodfist VIII: The Crow"
Numskull: City of Angels sucked ass, no question. I know there was a third one, but I didn't see it. I just thought of something else...the guys who created the Ninja Turtles still live in Northampton (well at least Laird does...not totally certain about Eastman). John Woo is doing a new TMNT movie. How cool would it be to have John Woo just, like, 10 miles away? (And what was that we were saying about "fan club" behavior?)
Mighty Peking Man: Hell yeah. I love that idea of John Woo making a TMNT comeback. And real comeback from the mid-80's shit. Not that cowabunga, multi-colored, playmate versions. I actually heard that news from Dan-O before it started circulating the net. Hope it's made.
Numskull: Have one of the turtles get killed, then come back from the dead as a turtle/crow hybrid.
Mighty Peking Man: Very funny. I'm laughing my ass off right now. No, seriously. I really am.
Numskull: I'm not. I think seeing one of my childhood icons get killed would traumatize me. I'm still getting over the death of Optimus Prime in the Transformers movie. Bambi's mom, on the other hand, can burn in Hell.
Mighty Peking Man: hmmm okay. Anyways, have you seen the new Crow double disc special edition (if not, just wait til they released the even more special edition 2 years from now), but it's got some really cool footage. It blew my mind when I saw it.
Numskull: No, I haven't seen it.
Mighty Peking Man: Well, I don't know why I got it considering a hated the movie so much. I guess you can call me a Brandon Lee fan. It really did shake me when he passed.
Numskull: I didn't find out that he died until...hmmm...well I don't remember. Not giving a shit about the outside world at age 15 (and NOW, for that matter), the movie came and went without me noticing. I only saw it because my friends recommended it.
Mighty Peking Man: Too bad his life was taken in a crappy movie that "goth" people embrace. Anyways, what's the best thing about The Crow? (the movie that is, not the bird)
Numskull: For me, it's the dark comedy. Lines like "Look what you've done to my sheets" (while the guy is bleeding to death) usually get a good laugh out of me. Hell, I think SEVEN is one of the funniest movies ever made.
Mighty Peking Man: Speaking of SEVEN, I bet David Fincher would be the perfect director for THE CROW.
Numskull: Hmmm...maybe. Or, had it been an HK production, I think Herman Yau (The Untold Story) would have been a very good choice.
Mighty Peking Man: Brandon would of been awesome in Hong Kong flicks!
Numskull: Did he do any besides LEGACY OF RAGE?
Mighty Peking Man: No, he didn't. I heard he was supposed to do a sequel with Donnie Yen.
Numskull: I didn't much care for LOR. Anyway...I assume you've seen Brandon's last interview? It was on the video tape so it certainly should have been on the double-disc set. His "how many more times will you look at the full moon" speech is taken from a really bad (and I mean REALLY BAD) movie called THE SHELTERING SKY, starring Debra Winger and John Malkovich. I had to watch it for a film class and it almost put me to sleep. I have a pretty high threshold for slow-moving films, but this fucker doesn't move AT ALL.
Mighty Peking Man: What? You mean word for word??
Numskull: Yup. I don't know if he knew it would go uncredited or not.
Mighty Peking Man: Ah! That ruined it for me. They even put that speech on his gravestone!
Numskull: Really? Damn. Actually that speech is from the book that THE SHELTERING SKY is based on. The author makes an appearance at the very end of the movie and recites it. I almost stood up in class and said, "Holy shit, that's from THE CROW!"
Mighty Peking Man: LOL! Crazy. The movie did come out before '93 right?
Numskull: Yeah. Besides, I kinda doubt the author would have taken Brandon's speech and stuck it in his book. It makes more sense for Brandon to recite it, because he liked it (either the book or the movie, maybe both). I wonder if the guy who originally wrote it knows it's on the tombstone...
Mighty Peking Man: Hmmm well, nice speech anyways.
Numskull: Besides, THE CROW is a MUCH better film than THE SHELTERING SKY. I know you don't like THE CROW but trust me on this. 'SKY sucks more than the special effects in the "watch the bullet hole in my hand disappear faster than Robert Downey Jr.'s promise to stay clean" scene.
Mighty Peking Man: LOL! Well, I don't hate the movie. I just think it was overhyped. I've seen some Don "The Dragon" Wilson movies better than this. The Crow's best moment comes when Brandon Lee hops on all those thugs and show starts to John Woo everyone.
Numskull: I bet John Woo could've gotten a great performance out of BL.
Mighty Peking Man: John Woo is pissing me off.
Numskull: Well, wait until WINDTALKERS. Most of his American stuff has sucked so far (ONCE A THIEF for TV...urrrgghh) but he still has some good films left in him.
Mighty Peking Man: Wait for Windtalkers? Why? I'm sick of all these goddamn war films. We don't need anymore. Especially one from John Woo.
Numskull: Heh...the only war movies I can think of that I've seen from beginning to end are BULLET IN THE HEAD and ENEMY AT THE GATES, so I don't mind. Now, here's your cue to urge me to see THE DEER HUNTER.
Mighty Peking Man: Damn, you gotta see THE DEER HUNTER man! You'll like that one!
Mighty Peking Man: I barely consider it a War film. I don't even consider BITH a war film.
Numskull: Some day, I'll watch all those Vietnam movies in a marathon. DEER HUNTER, FULL METAL JACKET, PLATOON, APOCALYPSE NOW, etc. I don't think I would label BITH a war film either, but you compared it to other Vietnam flicks on the forum, so I figured I'd stick it there. Actually I don't remember a great deal of it.
Mighty Peking Man: Ever seen COMING HOME IN A BODYBAG? It's the best fucking war movie ever made. It's sequel, BODYBAGS II is even better!
Numskull: I didn't see the first one, but Clarence Whirley in TRUE ROMANCE did. You're not just fucking with me, are you? Because if you are...
Mighty Peking Man: LOL! Good catch man!
Numskull: How sad that I remember so many Tarantino lines now that I don't like his stuff anymore. I need to clear some memory space.
Mighty Peking Man: Don't like his "stuff" anymore? The guy doesn't even have enough films under his belt for his films to be called "stuff". I'm sure his comeback is just around the corner. Hopefully.
Numskull: I just had one of my horrible thoughts...Quentin Tarantino directing THE CROW. "It can't rain all the time, Sarah. By the way, did you ever see some blaxploitation movie from the '70s that my band swiped the music from?"
Numskull: (shit, that's not funny)
Mighty Peking Man: I didn't start laughing until you typed "(shit, that's not funny)". LOL!
Numskull: I tried too hard. Fuck it. Another thing I wanted to mention...Michael Wincott, who plays the head villain...he's a good bad guy actor. He was a villain in STRANGE DAYS...still one of my favorite flicks. He was also in ALIEN RESURRECTION...musta needed the work.
Mighty Peking Man: No, if THE CROW was a Tarantino movie, Ernie Hudson would of told Sarah what they called that hot dog she was eating in Amsterdam.
Mighty Peking Man: (shit! My Taraino-Crow thing wasn't funny either?)
Numskull: No, it definitely was not.
Mighty Peking Man: Okay, fuck Tarantino. We'll hammer him when we do City on Fire commentary.
Numskull: Oh yeah. I was flipping through Entertainment Weekly at work, and they have a snippet about the North American CITY ON FIRE DVD, and they mentioned how lots of HK film fans say QT ripped it off for RESERVOIR DOGS. I sent them an e-mail, thanking them for pointing that out. Finally, that little tidbit reaches a BIG audience.
Mighty Peking Man: Cool. Contrary to what I just said, I wouldn't go as far as saying that Tarantino ripped it off. He ripped off a good 10 minutes along with a frame by frame action shot. I have to be honest and say that DOGS was much better.
Numskull: Maybe so, but in my eyes that's irrelevant. Plagiarism is plagiarism, regardless of quantity, and the end does not justify the means. He didn't rip off MUCH of COF, but with the parts he DID rip off, he was totally flagrant about it. When I saw that movie I stopped giving a shit about QT. Now, with me having said all that, you should get somebody else to do COF commentary so I don't repeat myself...
Mighty Peking Man: I agree with you on the Plagiarism thing. So you're saying Tarantio never acknowledged it?
Numskull: He said he'd seen COF and liked it, but he acted like the people who said he should have given it more credit were full of shit. But that's enough about him. What do you think of Michael Wincott?
Mighty Peking Man: I like him. I think he was in a Gary Oldman film called ROMEO MUST DIE.
Numskull: I think you mean ROMEO IS DEAD. I know I saw that movie, but I don't remember anything about it except that Juliette Lewis was also in it.
Mighty Peking Man: No, actually it's called ROMEO IS BLEEDING.
Numskull: Oh yeah, that's it.
Mighty Peking Man: But yeah, Wincott is cool. Doesn't he have a brother named Jeff that keeps on making straight-to-video acton flicks?
Numskull: I know there's a Jeff Wincott who does those movies (haven't seen any of them) but I don't know if they're related.
Mighty Peking Man: They are. I read it somewhere. Do you know if the Crow Soundtrack (bands) was made before or after the film was complete (in other words, after the whole Brandon Lee incident)
Numskull: No, I don't know. I think it's a safe bet that James O'Barr insisted that there be a song by The Cure, but he probably didn't have much say beyond that. He likes Joy Division, New Order, that kind of thing. I think it would have been better off with him picking the music...keep Rage Against The Machine the fuck off of the soundtrack!!!
Mighty Peking Man: Well, it's better than all that shit you just mentioned.
Numskull: No. Fucking. Way. I'm not a big fan of that type of music but I would rather listen to The Cure for five hours than RATM for five minutes!
Mighty Peking Man: The Cure huh? You know what I say? Fuck 'em.
Numskull: Actually I used to like them. I didn't wear eye shadow or shit like that but I thought they had some good tunes. Now, of course, SKYCLAD are my people (shameless plug).
Mighty Peking Man: It's all about Radiohead man. I think we're forgetting about the movie (as always). Let me enlighten you by saying: Numksull, what is your favorite scene in the movie?
Numskull: How is that "enlightening"? Heh...my favorite scene is probably the whole sequence where he hides in T-Bird's car and kills him. "Goddamn foreign cars!"
Mighty Peking Man: You know, that scene was filmed without Brandon. You can tell. It is a good scene though.
Numskull: Yup. I mean all the way up until the part where he lights the gasoline. T-Bird has the most notable death.
Mighty Peking Man: They show clips of Brandon on top of the car like TJ Hooker but I guess they scratched that out. The worst scene is at the end. The whole "Highlander" sword fight was ridiculous.
Numskull: It coulda been worse.
Mighty Peking Man: The soundtrack (non-band) was phenomenal
Numskull: The "score" you mean. Yeah, it's a hell of a lot better than the licensed songs they used.
Mighty Peking Man: Yeah, the score. Raven said that DIE HARD III's script "Simon Says" was supposed to be Brandon's next movie.
Numskull: Raven says a lot of things. I think the worst part of the movie is when he tells Ernie Hudson that "little things used to mean so much to Shelly." It fits in very awkwardly. Plus it's too damn sentimental for a heartless bastard like me. Let's have less chatter and more splatter!
Mighty Peking Man: So do you think this was Brandon's best movie?
Numskull: It's the best of the ones I've seen, but then I've only seen three (this, RAPID FIRE, and LEGACY OF RAGE).
Mighty Peking Man: What do you think of his acting? What makes you think he would have succeeded in Hollywood?
Numskull: His acting here is good (or maybe it's his computer double) but he didn't exactly blow me away with his thespian skills in RAPID FIRE. But then, it's not like he had dynamite dialogue to work with. Actually I don't think he would have been a huge success in Hollywood. He probably could have had a decent career by sort of riding THE CROW's coattails, but a lot of people, I think, would have seen him as a one-trick-pony.
Mighty Peking Man: What about Don "The Dragon" Wilson?
Numskull: Don the what Wilson?
Mighty Peking Man: You've never seen a Bloodfist movie? YOU WRITE FOR THIS SITE and you've never seen a low-budget BLOODFIST movie!? It's got the most sequels (with the exception of Friday the 13th of course) and you've never noticed it?
Numskull: I've noticed it, I just don't give a shit about it!!!!!!! I've seen parts of two of his movies, one was in prison with a guy who looked like Woody Allen, and the other was about some kid who idolized him.
Mighty Peking Man: LOL! Why did you watch the whole movie?
Numskull: I didn't. I said I'd seen PARTS of those two movies. Pay closer attention, you ignorant boil on a dead dog's ass.
Mighty Peking Man: No no! I meant to say Why DIDN'T you watch the whole movie?
Numskull: A) Because they were already in progress when I started watching (on TV, back when I watched it), and B) because they sucked.
Mighty Peking Man: Ever seen a Mickey Rourke movie?
Numskull: Two...YEAR OF THE DRAGON and BULLET (I think that's what it was called. It had Tupac Shakur in it. And it sucked. The only good thing about it was Mickey Rourke's character's brother, who saw himself as a hard-ass soldier of fortune type.).
Mighty Peking Man: Right on! What do you think Alvin Wilson would say about THE CROW?
Numskull: I neither know nor care. He lost all credibility when he did a commentary with Ryan Lundgren.
Mighty Peking Man: LOL! What do you mean? Why did he lose credibility?
Numskull: Conversing with Ryan, except when you're telling him what an idiot he is, is a really pathetic way to spend your time.
Mighty Peking Man: What about Alexander?
Numskull: Hey, I don't judge people based on who they associate with...his reviews are very good...but still...I think he's wasting his time.
Mighty Peking Man: What about Raven?
Numskull: Anyone who wants Van Damme to have a comeback but doesn't give a shit about Jackie Chan is obviously a few eggs short of a dozen. How the fuck did we get to talking shit about the people on this site anyway?!?
Mighty Peking Man: LOL! So I take it you don't give a shit about track suits?
Numskull: Not particularly.
Mighty Peking Man: What about Mariel Hemmingway or Margot Kidder?
Numskull: I know nothing of them. I DO know, however, that ERNEST Hemingway is the most over-rated writer in the English language.
Mighty Peking Man: Oh? How so? Didn't he write a story similar to JAWS?
Numskull: So what if he did?
Mighty Peking Man: Okay, go on...
Numskull: Waddaya mean "go on"? I've said my piece. Right now people are wondering when the fuck we're gonna get back to talking about THE CROW.
Mighty Peking Man: True true. Okay, Brandon Lee wears a black bracelet in THE CROW, Bruce Lee also wears the same black bracelet on GAME OF DEATH. Both films were unfinished after both their passings. Both films were completed using cheesy effects. Is the Lee family cursed?
Numskull: Nah, I don't think so. Lady Luck is a bitch, that's all.
Mighty Peking Man: The Crow was just wrong.
Numskull: Don't tell that to the groupies. They'll scratch your eyes out with those black fingernails of theirs.
Mighty Peking Man: IF they try that I'll show 'em what the color red looks like.
Numskull: They already know that from all their botched suicide attempts.
Mighty Peking Man: No shit. Are you saying that all "goths" should go to hell?
Numskull: No, not ALL of them. There are some decent ones mixed in with the social maggots. Anyway, I find the goth stereotype easier to deal with than the jock, gangsta, and grunge stereotypes, if such things still exist (high school is a mercifully distant memory).
Mighty Peking Man: I'd rather just hang with practical gal/guy like myself.
Mighty Peking Man: Okay man, let's end this. End it now. Before all of the above kills you.
Numskull: So would I...but if I have to choose between a goth and a jock, I'll take the goth.
Mighty Peking Man: Too late. You already pissed off the goth nation in this commentary session.
Numskull: OK. THE CROW...good movie, shameless merchandising, over-zealous fans.
Mighty Peking Man: THE CROW: a fucked up film (that I bought on DVD) that took the life of Brandon Lee.... I'm sure it's all about fate but I don't think this would of happened if he did a movie remake of "Three's Company".
Numskull: Three's Company? What the fuck?!?!?
Mighty Peking Man: uhhh....anyways, go to sleep. CUT!
AS A SPECIAL ADDED BONUS, I HAVE INCLUDED OUTTAKES FROM THIS COMMENTARY SESSION.