The Ring Two (2005)

AKA: The Ring 2

Director: Hideo Nakata 

Producer: Laurie MacDonald, Walter F. Parkes, Mark Sourian

Writer: Ehren Kruger 

Cast: Naomi Watts, David Dorfman, Simon Baker, Elizabeth Perkins, Sissy Spacek, Emily Vancamp, Kelly Stables, Gary Cole, Ryan Merriman  Ý

Running Time: 107 min.

Plot: The story picks up six months after the horrifying events that terrorized Rachel Keller and her son Aidan in Seattle. To escape her haunting memories, Rachel takes Aidan and moves to the small coastal community of Astoria, Oregon, to start fresh. However, Rachel's resolve quickly turns to dread when evidence at a local crime scene-including an unmarked videotape-seems eerily familiar. Rachel realizes that the vengeful Samara is back and more determined than ever to continue her relentless cycle of terror and death.

JESSE'S REVIEW:The Ring 2 is an amazing movie. An amazing piece of shit that is. Now I already had pretty low (actually just about none at all) expectations going into this film, and it still managed to be one of the dumbest and lamest things I've seen in quite some time, if not ever. Our story begins however many months/years after the events in the first film, as we see a teenage boy urging his girlfriend to watch the tape from the first movie in order for him to stay alive and not get killed by the evil ghost Samara. Well, things don't exactly go as planned and let's just say that he bites the dust. A few more random occurrences happen, and the main plot of The Ring 2 deals with Rachel (Naomi Watts) doing anything she can in order to release the spirit Samara from her possessed son (Who Gives a Shit). 

The Ring 2 has few (actually I don't believe there was even one) scares, and it also fails on a dramatic level. Everything is poorly written and the characters are so one-dimensional that after a while we end up rooting for them to actually get killed by Samara. And if you have even seen one horror movie in your lifetime, it's really easy to guess what will happen next. The scenes meant to shock only come off as laughable, and the horrible CGI in the film only adds to the unintentional humor. I was deathly afraid of deers before viewing The Ring 2, but when I walked out of it I then had a great appreciation and love for them. Though there is hardly any deep characterization in the film, the actors do their best and Naomi Watts does a fine job in her role as the hopeless mother doing whatever possible to protect her child from the cruel Samara, who has a strange fascination with television sets and water of any kind. 

The film is directed by Hideo Nakata, who also directed the original Japanese version of The Ring and other acclaimed films such as Chaos and Dark Water. It's apparent his heart wasn't in this film because he doesn't really stray from the stereotypical conventions of the American horror film, and one can infer that he was only in it to make some quick cash. Now I could be fair and give at least two or three points for the decent acting by Naomi Watts and the fact that the film wasn't the most horrible movie that I've ever had the pleasure of seeing, but I'm not. Fuck this movie. 

JESSE'S RATING: 0/10