The Tuxedo


"No wonder there isn't a review for this film on - no one else was stupid enough to go and see it!"

- Brmanuk

The Tuxedo (2002)

Director: Kevin Donovan

Writer: Philip Hay, Matt Manfredi, Michael Wilson, Michael Leeson, Michael Wilson, Phil Hay

Producer: John H. Williams

Cast: Jackie Chan, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jason Isaacs, Ritchie Coster, Debi Mazar, James Brown

Running Time: 96 min.

Plot: Cabbie-turned-chauffer Jimmy Tong learns there is really only one rule when you work for playboy millionaire Clark Devlin: Never touch Devlin's prized tuxedo. But when Devlin is temporarily put out of commission in an explosive "accident," Jimmy can't resist trying on the tux and soon discovers that this extraordinary suit may be more black belt than black tie. Suddenly thrust into a dangerous world of espionage, paired with a rookie partner even less experienced than he is, Jimmy becomes an unwitting - if impeccably dressed - secret agent.


BRMANUK'S REVIEW: No wonder there isn't a review for this film on - no one else was stupid enough to go and see it! Why did I set my expectations for this film so high? WHY?! I mean I was looking forward to seeing this film, but I ended up sinking into my chair with embarrassment. When I see a Jackie Chan film I expect a certain level of quality, I mean this is Jackie Chan! He has starred in some of the most enjoyable - and in my view - best films ever, but quality was certainly out the window. Jennifer Love Hewitt sets a new low for female co-stars in martial arts films; she is a complete pain in the ass. She makes an utter arse of herself and is about as funny as a leprosy.

Jackie plays a taxi driver who can't do any form of kung-fu (good start huh?), he then becomes the personal driver to some secrete agent dude who happens to own a suit that can transform the wearer into a butt-kicking butt-kicker. I can't remember what Jenny Love is doing in this film (I think she's a scientist or something) but all she accomplishes in this movie is being an annoying cow. The plot is that some nasty man is gonna put some special bugs in the earths water, which when drank, turns the drinker into dust. The only way to stop him is to give into his demands or get Jackie and his annoying bitch friend to give him a good (or in this film's case, a bad) kicking. Oooooooh, you can already feel the 007 clichés oozing out! (and they do)

I hate this movie so much. That's probably why it took me 6 months before I could pull myself together to write this awful review. Oh yeah, did I mention that most of the kung fu in this heap of poop is done using CGI? I mean Christ, JACKIE CHAN DOES NOT NEED CGI TO KICK ASS! I should have probably guessed that it would be used since it is a DreamWorks picture. This film is an embarrassment to Jackie and all his fans.