Bloody Beach (2000)

AKA: At The Beach

Director: Kim In-Soo

Producer: Koo Bon-Han

Cast: Kim Hyun-Jung, Lee Hyun-Kyoon, Lee Seung-Shae, Yang Dong-Keun, Lee Sae-Eun, Lee Jung-Jin, Jin Tae-Sung, Kim Min-Sun

Running Time: 89 min.

Plot: See review below.

Availability: This title is available at HKflix.com

MIGHTY PEKING MAN'S REVIEW:  A group of teenagers are part of an online chat club and now they're planning a party on an isolated beach where they can meet in person and get acquainted with each other. Little do they know, a user that goes by the name "sandmanzz" is waiting for them. You see, "sandmanzz" was a person that was ignored, made fun of, and banned from the club. Somehow, he knows about their little beach trip and now...he's out for blood.

"sandmanzz", how imaginative.

First of all, why call it "Bloody Beach" when they could have called it "I know what you did last summer when I heard you scream on Friday the 13th in Korea"? It's a more suiting title since it borrows heavily from every popular slasher film ever made. Hell, director Kim In-Soo even says it himself: "Bloody Beach is typical of a horror movie, with its settings being an isolated beach in summer... instead of inventing or even changing these elements, I tried to keep all the classical elements and arrange them in a way that would create the most scary and taunting scenes ever."

Too bad he forgot to include those "scary and taunting scenes" - otherwise, he's right on target.

Whether "Bloody Beach" is a homage or celebration to slasher films, I'll have to be honest and tell you what I really thought of it, no matter what the director was going for...it blew. It blew more than all those chicks did in "Girls Who Like To Give Blowjobs Vol. 1-5". I don't mind campy horror films. I don't mind campy horror films that rip off other campy horror films. This one was bland, uninteresting and the makers or writers should have easily been able to construct something more valid than what they came up with.

I can't say that I wasn't entertained at all, since I did sit through the whole 89 minutes. I guess it was one of those instances where I was just waiting for that big twist or gory scene that might give this film some kind of redeeming value. There was definitely a twist, but it was weak. It wasn't "holy shit! I didn't see that coming!!!", it was more like "oh, so that's the killer." There was definitely gore, but it's the same shit we've seen before (listening to all those Kurtis Blow tapes finally paid off). If I was entertained, then it's entertainment at it's lowest.

You wanna know what really sucked? Kim Min-Sun's ("Memento Mori") role. She was definitely the main reason why I was attracted to this film to begin with. I knew she wasn't the main star, but I didn't know her part was as small as it was. I guess I felt the same way Drew Barrymore fans felt when they saw "Scream". Oh shit, sorry if I just gave something away. :)

Another thing that sucked was the Chumbawambaa song. I'm not sure which was worse, that song or this film.

MIGHTY PEKING MAN'S RATING: 3/10